My Letter

Being in a relationship and being apart. They (most) say these two situations shouldn't exist at the same time, which we experienced to be true for a season. You were there, I was here. We tried to make it work but at some point we failed and had to put an end to what we had. Days, weeks and months passed. You were baby sitting, I was assisting in incising. We thought we moved on, but we thought it over and made a decision to try again. I was having a hard time seeking for answers if this would really work, why you had to leave, why I had to stay, why we had to be this distant with each other.

But I met someone along the way. Someone who made me experience a different kind of love. A love which you can't get enough of. I pursued that someone. I pursued God. I loved and love Him more than I loved and love you. But the amazing part is, you loved and love Him more than you loved and love me.

Then I understood, we had to be apart to fall in love with God. Since that time, we haven't fought. We haven't argued on things. You understood me and forgot all your insecurities as did I.

I am really thankful to God that He did not only restore our relationship, but He added another glorious year and more years to your life. I loved you then, I love you now, and I will love you more each day. You are my best friend, my sister, my love, God's gift. You are a blessing not only to me but also to those who had a chance to share moments with you.

Thank you for being you, real. No metaphorical make-ups, just you. That is one of the things that make our relationship real too.

I miss how you make your head dance. I miss how you do that thing with your nose. I miss you. See you real soon. :)

Happy birthday Timmy! I Love You. 1-12-20__. :)

Who is she now?

"...actually, HINDI NAMAN KAILANGAN ANG NURSE AY MATAPOS NG BSN, kasi itong ating mga nurses, GUSTO LANG NILA MAGING "ROOM NURSE." Sa America or sa other countries, ano lang sila, YUNG PARANG MANG-AALAGA. HINDI NAMAN SILA KAILANGAN GANOON KAGALING."

Blood raised abruptly to heads of Filipino nurses upon coming across of this line. A line thrown by Congresswoman Cynthia Villar at an event called, "Pagsubok ng mga Kandidato" hosted by Winnie Monsod. This response was triggered when the latter asked Villar on an issue which recently made people seem to think that Villar sides with the business area, not with the education.

It was proposed by the technical nursing education committee that 23 nursing schools must be closed and prevented from operating because it offered low quality education and training. Villar requested for a dialogue with CHED and it was decided that no school must be closed. She simply reasoned out that there have already been investments made.

Cynthia Villar is indeed a businesswoman, I do not have anything against her siding with the business. I am against her publicly judging Filipino Nurses. Exconvict strived to graduate BSN, Exconvict is a registered nurse, Exconvict does not want to be called a Room Nurse, Exconvict does not settle for mediocrity in terms of caring and nursing. If she really believes that anybody can become a nurse even without graduating BSN, why do other countries require applicants to be a BSN graduate and a registered nurse? Why do other countries require being a registered nurse in their country aside from being registered locally? This is because being a nurse needs special training, rigid training.

In the nursing world, lives are at stake. Mediocrity is not an option. What we need is close to perfection. Bottomline, "kailangan namin maging ganoon kagaling." The reason that other countries favor Filipino nurses as applicants is because of our skills, holistic skills. Skills which we acquire from extensive training from training schools that give what we really need. Not just any school that operates just for returns of investments. You can't just operate a school and leave your graduates behind without licenses that they need. You can't just operate a school without your students being able to pass the standards of the profession.

Let us move on to the other side, business. This is my opinion, a mere opinion. Unlike nursing, you do not need to be a college graduate in order to venture to business. All you need is money, guts, and manpower that could do the job for you.

Cynthia Villar graduated and earned her degree in Bachelor of Science in Business Administration at the University of the Philippines. Not contented, she pursued and finished Masters in Business Administration at the New York University. She entered various entrepreneurial ventures with her husband.

What am I pointing out? Venturing into business really does not need advanced education, you do not even need to be a college graduate. But why did she even took up Masters in Business Administration at the prestigious New York University? (I'm beginning to think, her genuine intelligence might not be enough. Maybe.)

To prove my stand, here are 12 Business Founders who succeeded without a college degree:

David Geffen

He attended three separate colleges yet never finished his degree. In order to move ranks as an agent, he needed a college degree. He forged a college diploma just to get one.

Who is he now? The founder of Geffen Records and Dreamworks, SKG.

David Ogilvy

He managed to get into Oxford on scholarship but was later expelled because of his dismal grades.

Who is he now? The "Father of Advertising" and currently works with successful companies like Dove, Rolls-Royce, and Shell.

DeWitt Wallace

He attempted to get his college degree at two different colleges, failed.

Who is he now? The co-founder of "The Reader's Digest"

David Oreck

He skipped the typical college experience and instead enlisted in the Air Force in World War II.

Who is he now? The popular spokesman in commercials and infomercials and started the Oreck Corporation which sold vacuum cleaners and air purifiers by mail.

Frederick Henry Royce

He only had a single year of formal elementary education in his lifetime.

Who is he now? He accumulated vast amounts of money and success with the Rolls-Royce car and other mechanical products.

Ingvar Kamprad

Stopped high school when rewarded by his father because of good school grades.

Who is he now? The founder of IKEA and 1 of the 11 wealthiest people in the world.

Phillip Ruffin

Enrolled in both Wichita State and Washburn University but never graduated with a degree.

Who is he now? He has ties in casinos, greyhound racing, oil and real estate. He sold his Las Vegas Casino for $1.2 billion.

John Mackey

He dropped out of college twice and never took a business course.

Who is he now? The founder of Whole foods, a highly-successful retailer of natural and organic foods.

Rachael Ray

She never finished college.

Who is she now? Founder of the Rachael Ray Empire which includes three cooking show segments, best-selling cookbooks, and a syndicated talk show.

Bill Gates

He dropped out of college.

Who is he now? The founder of Microsoft.

Walt Disney

He never earned a college nor high school diploma.

Who is he now? A film producer, director, screen writer, voice actor, animator, entertainer, and an international icon.

Michael Dell

He dropped out as a pre-med when he was 19.

Who is he now? The founder of Dell, Inc. and one of the richest men in the world.

_________________________________________________________________________________

You get my stand? Now, name 12, or even 5 people who became nurses even without a BSN degree and I'll shut the hell up.

No matter what your chosen career and profession is, you need to be skillful in order to succeed. "Kailangan mong maging ganoon kagaling."

Cynthia Villar

She graduated and earned her degree in Bachelor of Science in Business Administration at the University of the Philippines. She also pursued and earned her Masters in Business Administration at the New York University.

Who is she now? SHE JUST LOST THE VOTES OF THE FILIPINO NURSES.

I don't know why I love her but I do.

I don't know why I love her but I do.

She possess vulture's eyes when mad yet cat's eye when glad.

She eats a lot like a rat yet complains of being stout and fat.

Couldn't seem to understand, always thinks things come out of hand.

I don't know why I love her but I do.

Maintains a fixed mind when deciding, but in a while her mind is doubting.

Leaping without thinking, jumping without looking.

Sticks to what she knows is right, does not care if it causes one big fight.

I don't know why I love her but I do.

She sings like a threatened mantis, way better than Anne Curtis.

Dances like Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson without his body on.

Does not like to be pampered much, but craves to experience "kilig-much."

I don't know why I love her but I do.

She makes me cry but she's the one ending up having a sty.

She makes me laugh when I couldn't handle stuffs,

She shares my burden yet we're miles apart even.

I don't know why I love her but I do.

Her family she nags about, yet her family she'd die without.

One small challenge she'd try to escape, yet comes back with a magic cape.

Does not care what others might think, does not care what stink she could bring.

I don't know why I love her but I do.

49 months now we have been, 49 months now I am still most keen.

Haves a headache with computing, always passes on to me the counting.

All she does is best is bragging, bragging of how pretty of her as a being.

I don't know why I love her but I do.

Today she turned twenty-two, her stubbornness became plenty-too.

I do not have fancy flowers nor sweet chocolates to offer,

But I hope to her it wouldn't matter.

Happy Birthday Timmy Claire. :)

I don't know why I love you, but I do. I love you.

Lechon ta diha! :) 

MOST, if not ALL

One punch. One second. One defeat. One question: Why?

It was a dynamite right hook from JuanMa that finished off the fight with Pacman early. The whole bout was breathtaking with the rivals taking turns in making each respective opponents kiss the lawn. Just one second remaining for the 6th round to end, boom! The clash was over with the Filipino tasting a stunning loss.

The defeat shocked the crowd and the millions of viewers leaving them with one question, why? A question which most Filipinos promptly answered. They concluded that Pacman didn't win because of his decision to change religion, because of throwing away the idea of wearing the rosary, and because he didn't do the sign of the cross.

Seriously? These are all you could think of? You all have issues. Man up people. Man up. Get this, months before the scheduled bout, both fighters promised to conclude the fight early and to do their best not to end up until the 12th round. They did as they promised. They fought hard, gave the crowd a hell of a fight. Its just that the odds were in favor with JuanMa and not with Pacman this time. The fight was not "Pacquiao IV." It was "Pacquiao Vs Marquez IV." It was not only Pacman's fight, it was also JuanMa's fight. Let us just give the credits to JuanMa for winning. Pacman had his moments of victories during the earlier fights they had, and it is time for JuanMa's victory. Its not like Pacman threw the fight or something. He showed what he is made off and he even broke JuanMa's nose early in the fight.

Why don't you just accept the defeat like how Pacman accepted his defeat. Why do you have to drag religion into this? Quit looking for something or someone to blame. Religion did not dictate his fight victories nor defeats. Its how they played that dictated the match. You just showed how hypocrite you all are. Manny may have switched religion but his belief in the same God we believe in is definitely still there.

I bet most, if not all, who concluded religion reasons do not even pray sincerely like how Manny prays. I bet most do not even pray the rosary. I bet most do not even own a rosary. I bet most do not preach His words like Manny does. I bet most do not spend time with Him like Manny does. I bet most do not know the significance of the sign of the cross. I bet most do not read the bible. I bet most do not even own a bible. I bet most do not know faith in religion. Trust me, Manny Knows.

Manny may have lost that single fight but he still won in His eyes. If most say it was change of religion that brought Manny's defeat, then MOST, if not ALL, are LOSERS in the ring of life.

I Just Know.

I couldn't sleep. I am used to sleeping late recently but this time, I know its different. I have been blogging lately that deals with a variety of stuff and after writing and venting out what I need to say, I suddenly feel great. (Even though only two or three reads it. It's my blog after all, my space.) And I know this time I should air these thoughts and feelings out just to give me a good night's sleep.

Hoping and expecting. Two totally different words. On the early part of my journey I am pretty sure that I was just hoping. I am also pretty sure that everyone who knows me were expecting. And I tried really hard to meet those expectations, their expectations. I came to a point where I pressured myself to achieve what I thought they wanted me to achieve badly. Days and nights I kept thinking about how they would react if I fail and how they would react if its the other way around. To make it short, I was living up to their expectations.

I WAS WRONG.

Just recently, I am already not sure if I was just hoping or I reached the point of being on the thin line that separates hoping from expecting. Then I realized, why did I feel like a failure? Because I wasn't hoping, I expected and that caught me. All this time I wasn't living up to their expectation. I was living up to my own expectation. I created a pressure monster and decided to let it haunt me, myself. All this time I was trying to reach the standards that I myself established and how foolish of me to pass it on to them.

As I have said, hoping and expecting are two different words, totally different words. I misinterpreted them hoping being them expecting. I could see now that hoping is a good thing. You see, when you hoped you would do this and in the end you didn't, you still feel good about yourself. But when you expected and didn't have it, you'll end up feeling like a failure. You'll end up not noticing the wonderful events that take place in your life.

You'll end up being like me. Yes, I was so caught up thinking I was a complete failure. I didn't even for a second notice the great things He has given me, most especially a wonderful family.

My mom hoped. (I know because I happened to bump to one of her text messages to someone.) For a while I thought she was disappointed but she was not. She just hoped but still felt good about the outcome. It was evident for she made it a point to celebrate the night and she even talked about how much a lechon would cost. (Mom, I am still not changing my mind about not getting one though. :D) And she texted almost everyone she had numbers with and said she was so proud.

My dad hoped. (I just know. He isn't a vocal type of dad but I know.) I also thought he'd be disappointed but he was not. He took my hand, gripped it real hard. (It's his way of saying, "Way to go, kiddo!") And he didn't stop bugging my mom telling her to text his side of the relatives. And I know he is proud and not disappointed because his FB status said so. :)

Grandpa hoped. (I know because he asked me if I got in.) He was never disappointed. He rubbed my head and genuinely smiled. (His way of saying, "That's alright.")

Timmy hoped. (I know because she said so. :P) She was not disappointed, at all. She made sure I never felt bad and never again with her silly jokes and encouragements.

All of you hoped. (I know because you believed in me.) But you were not disappointed. I thought you were, but I thought wrong. At the point in my life where I felt I failed, you were there backing me up. Helping me put my feet back on the ground, as the song goes. :)

I didn't publish this to gain sympathy. I published this to express my gratitude to God, to my family, to you. And I published this to make you learn things I just learned. 

"View the world in different perspectives, not just your own personal perspective. You are not a failure, you just wanted to look at things that way. Try looking at things differently, you'll see."

The Bourne ENMITY

Just this morning, I was awakened by my mother saying that I must accompany my grandfather. I couldn't and I shouldn't say no because of two things: First, he is my grandfather. Second, we are going to the mall. :)

The plan was just, together with my mom, we are going to meet my aunt who would like to treat my grandpa for lunch. (including me, she has no choice :p) Grandpa expressed his long time wish to go and visit the newly opened mall, so he was excited. We ate at some restaurant known for its famous chicken. We ordered and told us that we would have to wait for about 15 to 20 minutes. 20 minutes later, the "Kare-kare" arrived. And another 20 minutes later, the Fried Chicken was served. And another 20 minutes later, the pitcher of cold tea arrived. (So that's what they meant about 15 to 20 minutes. Oh.)

Anyway, the entries in the 2nd paragraph (especially the last ones) were not that important for this article's topic. I just wanted to vent out my comments and complains regarding that restaurant. (evil laugh)

Now here we go, as we nearly finished gobbling our lunch, my aunt and mom asked grandpa, "Do you like to watch a movie at the cinema?" Who would say no to that? Grandpa just smiled and said, "Why not, I already have the opportunity to do so." By the way, grandpa is around 70+ years old, just for your information. Then grandpa aired out that he would like to watch "The Bourne Legacy."

The Bourne Legacy it is. Not only grandpa was excited, even me. On our way to the cinema's entrance, something came across my mind. It was the news I saw and heard  that many Filipinos got dismayed because the movie did not feature the Philippine's beauty, instead it only featured the opposite. I was never really a fan of the "Bourne" series so I have really or no idea at all as to what the plot is. And this would be my chance to have a glimpse of it.

(I would love to post the story line but that would a spoiler to those guys who have not yet seen it. I'd just point out some of the major things in order to have my say regarding the complains of our fellow movie goers.)

Jason Bourne was a character born to be chased, if you know what I mean. I believe in all Bourne movies, scenes of him being chased and hunted would always be part. Here's the thing, the movie would be realistic and convincing because of certain factors. One, the actors. Two, the story line. Three, the set.

Wouldn't it be much convincing if the characters would cloak near areas which are crowded? I mean, the area in Manila where Bourne hid was perfect for the scene. Yes, it looked stinky, crowded, and it was a mess. But hear me out, it wouldn't be nice to see him hiding in a "beautiful" resort", eating at some "high-class" restaurant, and staying at a "top of the line" rest house, right?

Picture this:

Jason Bourne in a torn and worn-out clothes.
Policemen everywhere.
A lot of running, jumping, chasing, kicking, punching, body slamming.
Birds chirping.
Breeze blowing softly.
Waves splashing at the shore like hymns.
Beautiful sunset.
White sand.

Awkard, right?

Now picture this:

Jason Bourne in a torn and worn-out clothes.
Policemen everywhere.
A lot of running, jumping, chasing, kicking, punching, body slamming.
People of the neighborhood shouting and yelling, "They're here. Police hurry up!"
Horns blowing hard for the traffic the chase caused.
Fruits, vegetables, and goods displayed splatting, tables overturned.
Crowded market and slum area.
Pitch black street alleys and corridors.

Convincing, right?

An international interview with the movie's director/scriptwriter, Tony Gilroy, recently became viral. He was asked why he chose Manila. He simply answered, "It's stinky and ugly." Without taking into consideration the "movie" itself, I would understand why people didn't take his response positively. I mean who would not react if your place would be rated as stinky and ugly?

Tony just answered the question. He didn't throw a personal comment to step down on us. He was looking for a spot that would fit with the movie's plot, and that spot needed to be stinky and ugly. The scenes were shot to complete the movie. They were not shot to fulfill our aspirations to showcase our beautiful spots. It was all just for the movie, the movie's story. It was not the movie-maker's responsibility to mask what really is inside the Philippines, it was reality.

Open your minds. I would like to stress out the point of Mr. John Arcilla (the Filipino actor who became part of the movie) that we should do something to change it rather than trying to hide something that is so real.

P.S. The movie was great. Watch it.

Convict To Superhero

I was new then. A new inmate of Lamb Fee Tack County Jail. I was in cell A-11 together with a fellow Filipino in his mid-50's. I was advised to engage in small talks to everyone I encounter in that specific county to establish a positive environment with them. Its a good thing to start with my cell mate, and so I asked him what's he in for.

"Two counts of murder." he said and continued, "I'll echo that question back, what you in for?"

I hesitated for a while for I know he would doubt upon hearing my response. I turned my back on him and said, "You wouldn't believe me even if I tell you."

He pulled himself up to a chair, sat comfortably and asked, "Tell me, what's your story?"

"Where should I start?"

"It seems to me, we've got decades to have chats in this shithole partner, might as well begin from your nativity. Oh I love stories."

I do not know what has gotten into this old man's mind that suddenly he's interested with my life story when a few minutes back he was just interested with why I got locked up. Anyway, upon realizing that we indeed have a long long period for stories, I took his challenge.

"25 years ago, on this same day, my mother gave birth to me. You see, I never got the chance to know her, even my father, for that very same day, something tragic happened. Hours after I was born, one sick bastard came in the hospital. He was drunk, hell drunk. He came in looking for his wife. He searched every room, banged every door open. No one could stop him for he brought with him a rifle. Room after room he came searching. He came across our room and he thought that it was her wife sleeping with a man at the bedside. He immediately fired, bang, bang. Two shots, one at my mother's head and one through my father. When he finally realized that he got the wrong persons, he quickly flew and up until now, he is still a fugitive. I grew up hearing these tragic story of my life from my grandmother who raised me."

"I am sorry partner. Please do not continue if it bleeds open the wounds of your heart." he said after hearing just the first part of my story.

I was ready to continue relaying my story but I couldn't stand the look on his face. He was so serious and I could tell that he was so sorry. That's it, I couldn't hold it much further.

"Bwahahahahaha!" I burst into laughters, I literally crawled laughing.

He acted so confused and was puzzled. Then he asked, "What did you find funny?"

"I love it when people dig in to my stories like that. Haha. My mom and dad are at a nursing home 2 years now. I visit them often but I couldn't starting today though. Haha."

I only stopped laughing when he stood up. I thought I was getting a hard hit on the face. He reached for his ass, farted, grabbed me saying, "Take this you scumbag!" He made me smell all the gases he captured with his hands. It was horrible yet I admit, I loved the scent. Haha.

From that day on, we became best buds. I discovered he was kinda like me. He is into nasty stuffs and pranks, and that's my expertise. There are times when we got into trouble though because of throwing gags among our fellow inmates, including the jail guards. Classic. Haha.

It has been 2 years since I got locked up. And out of nowhere, something just hit me right at my head. I thought it was my best bud fart man screwing with me but he was in deep sleep. I wondered what just hit me. I looked down and saw a manual, "Super hero guide." Now that was interesting, it was the basics on how to become a superhero. Woah, I am totally into these kinds of stuffs for when I was young, I was fantasizing to become like superman, batman, and wonder woman, I mean captain america. Haha.

The manual had in it steps to becoming a superhero. I was totally into it that I finished the whole manual in just 10 minutes....Naa, I was just about to start reading. :)

STEP NO. 1: Do not go about wandering and proclaiming you are a superhero. Let the people figure out themselves that you are.

Hmm. After reading the step, I already had doubts if I could do it for I am a person who thinks highly of myself. I do not want others to look down on me. There was once that an inmate asked me what I did. I know that he had murdered 10 people using only a bread knife. Spooky, I could not do that thing. But I composed myself, stared at him and said, "One of my case is that I stared at 15 people, and they just went nuts and started killing themselves." Long years of being imprisoned might let you have difficulty in deciphering what to believe and what not to believe for he immediately took his eyes off me and went his way. Haha. Loser.

Now how am I supposed to let people realize that I am a superhero? Hmm. Should I let my best bud fake a choke and ten-tenenen, here I am to the rescue? Should I push others to fight and then when everyone's looking, I'll be there pretending to calm things down between them?

I dried my brains out thinking yet there was no progress. I looked at fart man and he was asleep still. And so I went near him, rubbed my palms together, and "CLAAAAAAP! CLAAAAAP!" He jerked a few times, startled to lift his body up, and bang! He hit his head with the base of the upper deck. Now that was fun! Haha.

A few months had passed and still, I didn't pass the 1st step. I figured, if I really wanted to be a superhero, I should not fake things. And fart man told me that I should let destiny make me a hero, a real hero. And so I asked fart man who and were destiny was so that I could just choke him or her or whatever to make me a hero. I was serious, I didn't know such thing existed.

"You really have no hopes, just give it up man" he answered with a grin.

I was nearly there at the giving up point when I heard moaning and crying.

"Officer please stop! I didn't do anything I swear!" one voice cried.

"I don't care if you did nothing, I just want to hit and kill you right now. You have no use! All of you here are worthless! No one cares if you live or not. Haha!" another voice said.

Ding-ding-ding! The bell rang and it signals the start of our leisure time. The cells were opened, almost everyone ran out of there respective cells and tracked where the voices were coming from. Then there we were. An inmate of ours bleeding to death, face swelling and the only part you could recognize is his eyes. His eyes looking at us, begging us to help him. It was not new in the county that jail guards and warden just picks someone from the cells and carelessly beats them, without any reason. Since I got in, a total of 24 died. They died even without their families knowing.

"This one will be the 25th I believe" fart man whispered.

I looked at the man being beaten. I felt something weird, I felt an urge to stand up for this person. Without noticing, I was slowly approaching the jail guard. I just realized that I was near when he shouted at me, "What do you want?"

I said, "Stop it please."

He just spat on my shirt and continued to beat him. Out of nowhere my hands just blocked his beating and said firmly, "This has got to stop you fool!" I kicked him right at his stomach. It was so hard that he fell on the floor, unconscious. I carried the person out and lead him to the infirmary. I just saved someone. Now all the other prisoners took my hand, shaked it, and said, "Finally. A hero  was brought to us to free us from sick guards and wardens, from sick systems. A hero that made us realize that we still have rights. And from now on, we will fight for it!"

I just smiled and went back inside my cell. I read again the manual and the 1st step disappeared. Wait, does this mean that I accomplished the 1st step? This manual is really something.

Being a hero should not be enforced. Each of us could be heroes of our own. We just have to stick to what is right and fight for it. We just have to fight for it without stepping the rights of others.This one I learned from the 1st step. It is your time to do the 1st step, man. :)

-Step 2 will be on the next chapter. Coming soon on blogspot.-